you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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