Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
