your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
