You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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