If i come over, it means nothing
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
