Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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