we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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