I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
