you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
