Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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