hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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