Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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