Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
