i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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