Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
