Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
