I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She's the barista slut.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
