I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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