i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
