I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize