When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
