You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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