If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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