On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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