what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
