Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
