Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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