The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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