I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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