I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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