I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize