she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
