How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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