I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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