so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
