Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
