your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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