i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
