Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
