So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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