Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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