I didn't shave. On purpose
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
