so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Found your dick twin last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
