Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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