And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
