Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He kissed a someone with a penis
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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