White coat. Heels.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Randomize
