I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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