never play flip cup with pint glasses
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
