ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize