Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Randomize
