you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
