So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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