Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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