need another drink. this is the easiest way
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
drinking out of a sandbucket again
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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