Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
