We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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