NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
