just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
