his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
